I was tagged...now my poor brain hurts

Right....so I have been tagged by the wondrous Stupidgirl (one thing she definitely isn't!) on her GenerationWhyNot blog.  Easy peasy thought I...but answering these questions actually isn't easy. I've realised I don't tend to think about myself much these days...perhaps I've turned into a wandering zombie?

Right here goes....



I am... oh here's that identity thing again. I am a collection of atoms, with a sprinkling of stardust, wobbling around my patch of the universe and trying to make some sense out of existence. Or perhaps I'm the deranged figment of a Llama's imagination as it stands high up in the Andes, chewing on a bit of tree as it looks down on the ruined stones of a lost civilisation. Then again I may be the ghost of a lost identity, in a place where time has lost all meaning, in a house on a hill as the wind whips through the trees and the crows sing their melancholy song to the waves in the bay beyond the fields. Or I may just be a Yorkshire lass, on the wrong side of forty, living in the back of beyond with a family and a house full of mad animals.

The bravest thing I have ever done is... I dont think I've ever done anything brave. I've never actually been in a situation where bravery was required...at least I dont think so. The nearest you can get, I suppose, is being brave enough not to move when I fell off a cliff on a school skiing trip. Yes..I fell off a cliff in the alps. I suppose it was serious at the time...we were skiing off-piste and had rounded a bend, and as I was the last in the group all the snow had been moved from the path to reveal a layer of ice... muggins here just slid off the edge. I was lucky, I landed in fresh snow...but the instructor told me that I mustn't move as that would plunge me further down the cliff-side. I stayed still as they managed to drag me back up onto firmer ground using my ski-poles...I remember the look in their eyes was panic at the thought of a child being lost... I just thought it was funny. I have a bit of a wierd sense of humour obviously. The sad thing is, if I remember rightly, this wonderful instructor died in an avalanche the following year. I probably owe him my life (or that could just be my melodramatic side coming out )

I feel prettiest when... I have my eyes shut? I dont think I've ever felt pretty.

Something that keeps me up at night is... nowt much. Great telly and a good book probably. I don't tend to lose sleep over the bad things in life....that's not saying that on occasion I haven't spent nights worrying over what might be, but we all do that. I think I may just have become a fatalist.

My favourite meal is... oooh now we're getting there! Food...it depends on my mood, but you can't beat a roast dinner and a chocolate fudge cake. A restaurant in Inverness (Girvans) does a fabulous pan-roasted salmon fillet on a bed of crushed potatoes that is just heavenly too. And my macaroni cheese is divine...but has enough cheese in the sauce to be coronary inducing.

The way to my heart is... ok...get a scalpel and some rib spreaders.....(see, wierd sense of humour?)

I would like to be... a good mother, a good wife...blah blah blah (insert all the usual stuff here). But I'd also like to be ...I don't honestly know. My career is unsatisfactory, and I don't honestly know what I'd "like to be"...I do know that "I would like to...."

1.   write a bit more and be good at it,
2.   be able to afford nice things (although I have no idea how I will manage
      that!),
3.   have a sense of style (that's one thing I have always lacked...unlike my
      sister who would look good in a tatty sack)
4.   be truly good at something (anything...I dont mind but I dont think baking
      counts)
5.  stop being a facilitator for others and start being one for myself. You know
      what I mean...I'm the one who will often volunteer when other's wont, will
      give people the information they need, or find out where they can go for it
      (librarian training coming out here). I spend so much time doing things for
      other people that I leave no time for myself...and when I do have the time
      to myself I have no idea how to fill it.

Hmmm perhaps after all that I do have an answer... 
I would like to be... ME  (I'll let you know if I ever find out who that actually is!)


So there you have it...some searching questions for a Saturday morning...as I was tagged I should tag others...but instead I'm going to leave it open to you dear reader...if you haven't been tagged, please answer these questions on your blog and link to it below. I'm nosey....I want to know. Now over to you.